*she sighs* why do I always end up getting cheated on? It's happened four times now, the guy is nice at first and I think "Well maybe he's the one" and then he basicaly rips my heart out... and then when I tell them I know what they where doing, they start coming up with excuses like "I'm sorry it's just in my nature, I never meant to hurt you, please forgive me". And I get sympathetic, but then I still leave them. God, why can't I find a brave, nice looking guy who doesn't cheat? I've gone completely emo because of this. Nothing will ever heal the wonds inflicted on my heart.  God damn the beating in my chest, I don't want to have a heart, it makes me care too much and in the end I end up alone.

I broke up with my boyfriend of one year!!! I'm so sad! But he was cheating on, so there is no chance I will take him back, as a matter of fact he cheated on his first girlfriend with me (I am friends with her now though.) He also told several of my friends, that he loved them and when they pointed out me he didn't respond. But he convinced me that they where just trying to brake me and him up. He was shocked when I broke up with him. SHOCKED, he had no idea I could do that without sheding a tear. But I was fed up with his lies and I told him it was over. Now I have to find a new boyfriend though XP. Don't laugh but I adore being in love and feel alone in the world when I am not in love. And I'm going to have the house to myself tommorow from 7:00 am-12:00 pm. 

Today I had to get up at 6:00 am, after I stayed up till 4:00 am, then I had to go all the way down to Dallas to take a tax(final) test, sense I'm homeschooled. The building was beautiful from the outside, but in the class rooms, it was stuffy, bare white walls, uncomforting silence and ofcoarse bright, blinding lights that gave me such a bad head ache, I wanted to explode. The test, was the part that really  took a chunk out of me, first I thought I was just taking math, and ended up having to take the reading one I missed! And God and everyone else knows, that I hated REPEAT-HATE READING. So I've had a hectic day. Still recovering from my head ache. I ended up seeing a girl named Hannah, who went to my old school, Valley View, which was a hell hole, but I don't even think the verbally abusive teachers there, deserve to be sent to that stuffy, plane room. God, it was like dieng only, worst. Oh, God I need a nap.

Tommorow, I am going to have to down to Dallas to take a stupid tax(final) test, in the most horribe thing ever... math.  I suck at everything ESPECIALLY math, accept for drawing, I can draw... but that's about it... and that won't get me very far...